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Television
MS-DOS to replace BBC 2 in New Year
Television
Danny Dyer has genitals replaced with framed photo of Chris Tarrant
Trump abolishes Periodic Table of the Elements
Bradley Walsh and Brian Conley ‘are same person’ say scientists
Corbyn scores and is sent off on Manchester United debut
Sport
Ashley replaces Newcastle United pitch with branch of Sports Direct
Television
Manford is new head of GCHQ
Television
Kemp “secret owner of Pedigree Chum recipe” reveals police supergrass
Music
Sell-vis Cost-Hello
Music
I Wanna Hold Your GLAND: Macca in toilet outburst over PM’s hair
Culture
Menace Dies
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