Sell-vis Cost-Hello

Destitute singer in body modification fiasco

The guitarist and songwriter Elvis Costello has sold his pelvis.

The pelvis was extracted from the body of the Oliver’s Army singer under local anaesthetic at his GP’s surgery in Gateshead on Thursday, amid concerns among the star’s relatives that he has been increasingly strapped for cash since being forced to sell the rights to his back catalogue to former Big Brother winner Craig Phillips.

Shortly after extraction, the crooner’s pelvis – which famously occupied the space between his thighs and abdomen during the recording of his version of the Charles Aznavour hit She – was sealed in aspic and transferred under police guard to Sotheby’s in London, where, within the hour, it was snapped up by an anonymous telephone bidder – later revealed to be acting on behalf of celebrity gossip magazine Hello! It is thought that the magazine intends to give the pelvis away to one lucky reader as part of a prize draw.

Costello has not yet commented directly to the news media, but has instead taken to social media since the procedure took place to allow fans to keep track of his recovery.

“I am unable to move my lower body,” tweeted the famously jovial rock star on Friday morning, going on to quip: “I will require round-the-clock care for the remainder of my life.”

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